Mugged

This should have been a post about what a fantastic weekend I had.The weather was great, my mate Simon took me to the theatre on Saturday to see The Cholmondleys and The Featherstonehaughs’ 20th anniversary show. I went on to Duckie and they were all there too, a brilliant evening. On Sunday the sun shone, I pumped up the tyres on Flying Sue and rode over to The Johns. It was the first time Sue has been out all year, and I was suddenly planning cycle journeys to work this week alongside the Thames in the Spring brightness. John showed me all the planting they had done on bank holiday weekend. It’s all starting to grow in well. I am very jealous of their garden, the huge deck and the magical orchard bit at the bank. We sat on the deck and after an hour we could both feel the sun making our skin tingle.

I cycled home, showered and headed out to meet Flattie for a night of Gay Bingo. We nipped into The Poundshop because on an earlier reccy I noticed they had a small stash of bingo dobbers, the special pens that professional bingoers use, that mark a whole number with one move, essential for the speed bingo rounds. When we got to the T building it was heaving. Loads more people than last time. It was Tan’s 30th birthday, he was there with Adrian, Jeremy and a couple of others, Lt George was there too. Flattie and I shared out the dobbers and brought a bottle of the house finest! There was a vague 80’s theme to the night. But the guy who calls out the numbers first choice of costume, some elaborate Dangerous Liaisons style frock, wig and mask ensemble, was rather impractical as he couldn’t actually see the numbers. I get completely over excited by the whole thing, although I have yet to win. The Johns and Iain arrived late and because the place was so full had to wait in line outside. After half an hour the queue hadn’t moved so they went off to The George and The Dragon. I was explaining the rules of the Speed Bingo round to the girl and boy next to us Catherine and her brother Ray. Ray is deaf and had missed out on a prize in the first round because he couldn’t see the number flicker clearly. Some one attempted to sign the numbers, but he was only just learning BSL and so his signing was not upto speed. I am too rusty to sign as fast as I need to, so Roy moved down to the front and I hung out with Catherine and the boys. Adrian’s boyfriend was getting a bit out of control and had started to use his dobber to draw a huge penis on Adrian's back, and graffiti the walls. We took his dobber away and gave it to Catherine.

After a couple more rounds we got a message from the Johns to say they had all gone to Horsemeat. Feeling guilty about how much fun we had with out them we jumped in a cab and headed down to Vauxhall. By the time we got there the Johns had left but Andy was still there and Aussie David and his cute mate, and Modern David and a bunch of others. Michaels stayed for a bit and then said he was off. I was talking to the Davids and so I said I would stay for another drink. After half an hour I left the club and took a minicab home. I paid the driver and walked to our front door.

What followed happened so quickly I can’t really be sure about anything. Our main entrance door has a mechanism which means it swings shut automatically, but quite slowly. I think two guys had seen me pay the cab and followed me in through the main door. As I started up the stairs I was aware of them and the next thing I knew they were trying to grab me and telling me to give them money. I started yelling at the top of my voice hoping that someone would come out into the stairwell. I was petrified that they might have a knife. They shoved me up against the wall and I felt one of them reaching into my jeans pocket. I pushed him off and carried on yelling “Help” as they punched and kicked me. I curled up into a ball. Suddenly they stopped and ran down the stairs. Flattie had heard me yelling and had come out to see what was going on. He took me inside and called the police. I think they must have kicked me in the head when I was curled up because I had a cut on the side of my head and blood dripping down my neck. Flattie was amazing. He called the police and calmed me down. I felt so helpless. I couldn’t even describe them.

I woke up this morning with one side of my head throbbing. It was a bit swollen. Flattie knocked on my door to check if I was OK. I said I should stay home. I texted work to let them know and later Kathy called to check on me. She was so sweet on the phone, it made me teary. I was so lucky. It could have been so much worse. As people have heard they have called or sent messages, which is really kind. Anyway, it just goes to show how unpredictable life can be. You can be having the most fantastic time and then suddenly something f**ks it right up. Hopefully I will be back to fantastic tomorrow.