Tuesday, September 18, 2007

the rest of the weekend

On Saturday evening Flattie and I went to Barcode to meet Rob, Tan, Carlo and the GB. There were another couple of Rob's friends there who I didn't recognise but Flattie later revealed that one of them had declared love for him at a BBQ earlier in the Summer. We had a couple of drinks and then headed over to Duckie. We were treated to 3 performances, a terrible punk pop duo. A boy and girl in pants and duct-taped nipples shouting terrible lyrics. Then a trio of burlesque girls and finally a brilliant singer-songwriter from New York. Flattie was still singing her, "Don't rape me! Don't rape me!" refrain on Sunday morning. We danced the rest of the night away and at 2am I returned home and the boys went onto Crash for Queer Nation.

On Sunday we had thought about maybe doing Gay Zoo, I was having one of those mornings in bed with a book and nice coffee from the new machine and so when Flattie texted me from his room next door (How lazy?) we decided to give it a miss but maybe head down to the Thames Festival in the afternoon. By now we had dragged ourselves from our respective beds. Flattie was hobbling around. He had been doing a spectacular version of the opening dance sequence from West Side Story and misjudged a jump. He landed badly and now had two very swollen and purple toes. FYI: Flattie has no formal dance training and the music at Queer Nation does not include movie soundtracks.

Accordionist Ian called from the Festival and told us to avoid it at all costs. Apparently it was really overcrowded and there were just a few stalls selling tie dye hammocks and incense. It was so busy people were using prams and wheelchairs as battering rams. Urgh! We stayed on the sofa's and found ourselves sucked into a TV show called "Come Dine With Me". We loved the dipso business woman who found love on the last dinner date. We headed off to Gay Bingo at around 6.30pm and negotiated our way through the crowds of skinny jeaned East End trendies. They were filming for Eurotrash and we spotted Antoine de Caunes, who still looks totally hot. As a warm up for the first game Johnny Woo came out in a fat suit and red lycra bikini and lip-synched to a Euro disco hit. It was about the same level as Britney's VMA appearance last week. He gave up half way through. The cutest boy in the room won the first game. The couple on our table fell out over who was marking the card.
"You do it"
"No, you do it"
"I can't do it, it's too fucking fast."
"Come on, you can do it"
"I can't fucking do it, and you're not even trying. You haven't even crossed anything off."

They left after the first game.

Rob and GB arrived, Johnny Woo did a number from Les Mis (he knew all the words!) and we played another round. Ma Butcher and Jon Sizzle had a new look for each game too. The cutest boy in the room was having felt tip pen tattoos drawn on his bum by the rest of his table. The GB spotted his latest crush, who he had just discovered was a sex addict hooker. Nice. Accordionist Ian arrived. Johnny Woo came out with a gorilla's head on and a huge strap on dildo and did a number from Cabaret. we played another game and I was one number away from a full house. Grrr. Another performance another game and then we were in a taxi down to Horsemeat Disco. Quite a few of the people at Bingo had done the same thing, sadly not the cutest guy in the room.

Flattie was putting in ground work with a guy on holiday from Amsterdam. Tony Fletcher was DJ-ing. Then Luke Howard came on and I was throwing shapes on the dance floor to Diana Ross, "No One Gets The Prize/The Boss". We departed.


Blogger Grant said...

Ha ha ha!

My housemate and I go one step further and actually call one another from our bedrooms! Which is sad, really, but so bloody useful too!

Your weekend sounds hectic!


10:29 PM  

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